I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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