I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
