sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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