You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
