Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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