If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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