Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i believe in u and ur pee
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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