you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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