did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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