Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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