so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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