he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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