i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
