The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize