final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's blow job season.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
