Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize