sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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