Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
