Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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