NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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