He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
