I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
