I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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