she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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