So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
