I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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