There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
