i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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