During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Shame - the story of my life.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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