Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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