I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
