just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize