We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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