Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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