Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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