i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
