Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
