Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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