I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
