dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
She announced her abortion via fbk
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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