I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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