Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
