Little spoons don't ask big questions
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
