How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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