I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
