its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize