I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
