One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Shame - the story of my life.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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