i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
