I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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