I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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