if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Never joke about your clitoris.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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