What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
