I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I look better un-naked...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
