Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
