She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize